Club Glossary

A list of words and phrases regularly used by people at Cookham Dean Cricket Club

A Passenger
 - A team member deemed to be of so little use to their team that they are thought to be being carried by their team mates. Jonathan Gay once referred to his father John Gay as 'A Passenger' during a friendly against Flackwell Heath in 2009 much to the surprise and humour of the rest of the side.

A Sticky Dog - A pitch that is very difficult to bat on often due to poor weather in the build up to the game. Examples of a 'Sticky Dog' would be Wooburn Green or Hurley in 2008.  

Banker-A term used to describe something (or an appearance from someone) that is seen as a certainty. Is usually referred to the more social aspects of club life such as going into town after the game, e.g "The Boyne Hill lot will be absolute bankers to be in town tonight."

Bigun - When a six is hit many club characters are known to exclaim 'Bigun' as the ball sails over the rope. Cookham Dean critic and ex-star Carlos 'Bigun' Thomas inspired the use of the term.

Bludgeon-An ugly display of batting where a batsman through a series of hidious swipes and edges will end up making a quickfire 30/40. 

Bring the axe down-When a player is dropped from the 1st team and into the 2nd team after a run in the side. Examples of this occuring in the 2008 season include Rory Millar being 'axed' three times.

Buffet bowling-Often a spinner, buffet bowling can be described as bowling that is easy pickings for the batsmen and should go around the park. Also known as "cafeteria bowling". 

C-Dog, Doggy-Dog, Dirty Dog - A term used by Arun Brar to describe a certain party going, mountain climbing, suitably boozed 1st team batsman

Canny Operator - A bowler who regularly bowls spells of a 'canny nature'. Such operators tends to be medium pacers or off-spinners who bowl with limited turn. A 'canny operator' can often be spotted bowling miserly spells and regularly claiming a decent haul of wickets. Examples of Cookham Dean CC canny operators include Pres Patel, Chris Nunn and Andrew Pett, the ultimate 'canny operator' is Miles Offord though.

Canny Spell-Bowling spells bowled by canny operators.

Carnival Atmosphere-Term coined in 2005. Refers to an atmosphere where club members enjoy themselves to such an extent that it could be said to be a 'carnival.' The Colonel Garrett Cup is often pointed towards as an example of a carnival atmosphere.

Carthorse-Used to describe a slow moving fielder that a captain will have to hide in the field. The carthorse is often unaware of his own limitations in the field.

CDCC armchair fans -This refers to supporters of the club that follow the progress of cricket at Ricketts Field but very rarely make appearances at the club itself. Raj Gandesha is the most notable of these armchair fans.

Character/Non-character-Characters are often found playing Sunday cricket and generally add to the enjoyment of a game with their banter throughout the day's play. Non-characters tend to be friendly enough people but can often play a game of cricket without anyone even noticing that they were there.

Christians Out! 
- A jovial term used whenever Christian Austin loses his wicket. 

Churn out runs-Someone who regularly tops the batting averages, usually scoring their runs at a decent rate.

Circuit/circuiting- Term introduced to the club by 2011 Overseas Player, Justin Rodgie. Refers to going on a night out...'where are we circuiting tonight?' Justin would often be found 'circuiting' at Smokey Joes.

Class-act -Term that found popularity after the 2007 Cricket World Cup after Jonathan Gay claimed Steve Tikolo was a 'class act.' Often a term of respect aimed towards opposition players, especially batsmen, who have previously done well against the Dean.

Club in Crisis-A club who are struggling in their league with results and with player availability. Cookham Dean CC was a notable example of a club in crisis circa 2003.

Club song
- Introduced by Aussie import Richard Lucas. The club song involves banging a stump hard and shouting "tickle me arse" a lot...........only to be sung after a league victory.

Clubman-Generally jovial character who helps with the day-to-day running of his club as well as turning out for them on the cricket field. Clubmen are often found serving behind the bar at their respective club.

Condemned Man- A batsman walking out who his team-mates and the opposition realise is unlikely to last very long. An example of this is Jake Richardson against Wooburn Narkovians in 2008.

Cock-a-hoop- This term refers to a joyous atmosphere within a team. A team can be said to be 'cock-a-hoop' when wickets are tumbling at regular intervals or when their teams pull off crucial victories. An example of a CDCC team being 'cock-a-hoop' is after the 1st teams victory away at Windsor in 2008. 

Dark horse- This refers to a character that is spotted in a place that they would not usually be expected to be seen in. This could also refer to a player being given a surprising call-up to a team. One example of someone spotting a 'dark horse' was when current 1st team vice-captain Ben Millar spotted Treasurer and Groundsman Dave Stringer at Maidenhead Station. 

Does a Job-Mediocre cricketer who can offer a little with the bat and ball for his side. Usually consistent but has limitations.

Don the Gauntlets- A term that refers to wicket-keeping and is frequently used by Jonathan Gay. The term is especially used when a part-time keeper has to 'don the gauntlets' due to an injury or lack of availbility from the regular keeper. 

Experienced Campaigner-Similar to a stalwart, an experienced campaigner is likely to have turned out for their club for a number of years.

Fill your boots- This can be defined as a batsmen who cashes in on dross bowling by making a quickfire 50 or 100.

Filthy Wickets-  Refers to wickets claimed less by skill and more by luck.  Wickets can be deemed "filthy" in two basic ways either by batsman being completely inept or by bowling balls so obscenely rubbish that the batsman plays an unorthodox shot and gets out, unable to comprehend his own stupidity.  Bowlers who regularly claim filthy wickets by bowling dirty spells should never be embarrased because a wicket is a wicket is a they say "look in wisden"!! 

Flat track bully-Jake Richardson.

'Go for a lap'- Term coined by Ben Millar. Going 'for a lap' takes place when your side is batting or when you're watching another match, usually a colts game. Usually only three or four people take part in this journey around the circumference of the ground.

'Greys Green-like club' - A term frequently used by Jonathan Gay to describe a club that predominantly plays Sunday friendly games. They are unlikely to play in a league.

Gun - Dangerous and unpredictable fast bowler, usually with no loyalty or strong club ties and possibly a criminal record. Guns have a knack of turning up, skittling the opposition and then never being seen at Cookham again. To satisfy the demand for the elusive match winning "Gun",  Ben Millar has set up an online trading company "guns4hire" to ensure they are in plentiful supply.
Harvest some runs/wickets-Similar to 'filling your boots', harvesting runs is generally done at a quick rate and against sub-standard bowling attacks. Harvesting wickets is the other way around, when a bowler claims a few wickets against some below average batsmen.

Heat  -  A bowler who bowls at a much faster pace than normal,  creating discomfort for the batsman…………………..Arun Brar regularly bowls his special brand of legside Heat

Hoover up the tail-This is when a bowler cashes in on a weak tail-end and claims a number of wickets that boost his season's average. Regularly done by James 'The Cackle' Taylor against unsuspecting Maidenhead and Bray lower orders.

Journeyman- This is a player who has played for numerous clubs within the local area. Such players often have disiplinary issues.
Mangats -  A family of around 200, all of which play cricket to a ridiculously high standard. Head by the Maharishi of the local game "Parminder", a Mangat can always be relied upon to deliver results. It is rumoured that even Taz the dog averages 35 with the bat.

Nasty piece of work-Often a seam bowler, a nasty-piece of work is an aggressive player who often crosses the line regarding their on-field behaviour.

Out of his depth- A player is 'out of his depth' when he simply can't meet the requirements needed to be a successful player within his side. Said player is either dropped down to a lower side, or in some cases very rarely picked at all.

Pantomime villain-Similar to a 'nasty piece of work' the pantomime villain will often push the line in respect of aggression towards his opponents. The difference from the 'nasty piece of work' is that they will never step over it. Usually a pretty unpopular figure on the field but friendly off the field with a story or two to tell.

Pick 'N' Mix-A generally unreliable and wayward bowling spell. 

Proper North Maidenhead-Used to describe a player or team without proper cricketing attire. Also used to describe players who play their cricket in a particularly cavalier fashion.

Ruined his figures-This is when a bowler that has bowled reasonably well has one poor over (usually his last one) which ultimately ruin his final bowling analysis. 

Secure the not out-Another average boosting achievement, this is when a batsman finishes the innings with a not out. At times someone who does this may be criticised for being too concerned about their batting average but as Simon D'Ardenne claims, "Secure the not out and the average looks after itself."

Serial Killers - Collective term for the various wicket taking deliveries in the arsenal of seasoned stalwart James Taylor. They include the "Huntley", the "Belfield", the "Polar bear" and a new one being prepared for season 2012, the "Bundy"!   

Snare-Claiming the prize wicket or catch of a dangerous opposition batsman.

Spent force-An old campaigner whose career is winding down. They become a 'spent force' when either their bowling or batting becomes ineffective and of no benefit to his side. 

Stalwart- Someone who has been playing for their club over a number of years and with great success on the cricket field. CDCC examples include Andrew Pett. Can also be found at other clubs including the Wooburn Narkovians middle order. Upon seeing a stalwart batting, one CDCC member has been known to exclaim "stalwart!" after each forward defensive shot.

Sunday/Social cricketer-Someone who turns out for a handful of Sunday games a year and places a great emphasis on the social side of the game as opposed to the winning and losing aspect

Tee-off- A batting term that refers to blasting quick runs. This can occur either at the top of the order or in the lower middle order. Rory Millar frequently claims that he's going to tee off but very rarely does.

Team-Dinner- Term coined by Justin Rodgie. Refers to a meal at a local eating establishment following a game of cricket. Particularly popular after victories. Notable 'team dinners' include the trip to The Harvester in Slough after the Under 17s secured a thrilling away win.

TFC (thanks for coming) - Used to describe a player  who nether bats, bowls or keeps wicket in a particular game.  Captains have a duty to patronize TFC's by saying things like "your fielding was great", "Just not your pitch" or "what a great team man". TFC's are particualarly bitter when it comes to paying match fees.  J

The definition of...The opening to a sentence. This is often an exaggerrated claim made to emphasise what someone is trying to say. Examples might include calling Pres Patel the "definition of a canny operator".

Thrown in at the deep end - This is when a player (usually a youngster) is given a major role within a senior side in the club. Some players flourish under the pressure while others don't...

Tumbled down the Leagues - A club whose First XI has suffered a number of relegations in a short space of time.

Turgid innings - Incredibly boring innings where a batsman that is desperately out of form somehow manages to stay at the crease for a long period of time. Often survives a couple of dropped catches during his innings.

Urban Ground - A ground found in a town centre or in a busy residential area. Urban grounds can often be havens for 'clubmen' and 'characters' that can simply wander in off the street. Examples of urban grounds include High Wycombe and Ealing.

Walking the plank - A player whose place in the team is almost permanently under threat but manages to hold onto his place in the side to confound his doubters.

Wheel him out - In an availability crisis having to turn to someone who hasn't played in a long time or is just generally useless

Wheelie Bin
– Opening batsman with little or no intention to play shots and scores at a pace a snail would baulk at..  2nd XI batsman Arun Brar is the dictionary definition of this. The  27 runs he eked out from 36 overs at Maidenhead and Bray was the cricketing equivalent of watching my dad mow the lawn. Under no circumstances should a wheelie bin be picked for T20.